As a former stylist, who got paid to dress people for a living, sometimes it pains me to see the outfit my four year old chooses. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you see me on any given day, I am likely in my cozy Nike sweatpants, or some lululemon leggings, with a sweatshirt. I don’t really get dressed these days. But, she does. And the outfit’s she has come up with. All I can say is, James may be a trendsetter, but this old lady does not understand her pairings. Here are some of her James outfits.
That said, I let James dress herself most days for several reasons. First, I want James to flex her choice muscle. My parents made so many decisions for me that today, it is still difficult for me to make decisions. I want my children to make as many low leverage decisions as they can.
Additionally, James being able to choose her outfit, gives her the autonomy that she (and every other child) is looking for. I cook for James and tell her when she eats (for the most part I set meal times) and when she sleeps (bedtime is a serious routine in our home). It is important for her to feel important and powerful. It is important for her to feel like she is her own person.
Next, James (and every kid) is creative. She is an artist. She should get to create her outfit of the day. Her OOTD. It is fun to see how she puts things together. It is exciting to see how her four year old mind works.
I’ll also say that James started picking her outfits before she was two. She had an idea of what she wanted to wear. She would bring me clothes to help her put on. We have been doing this for a while now.
I will say that I pick out the outfits for photoshoots, but otherwise, if you see James out and about, know that I most likely did not pick out the outfits.
That said, I still have room to grow in the giving up control thing. I do curate James’ wardrobe as much as I can. Aside from the occasional gifted item that doesn’t fit the aesthetic but I keep because someone who loves James gifted it to her, I choose everything in her drawers and closet. So, when we are walking in the store and she wants a dress with an Elsa image on it, I tell her no and we keep moving. I think parents who let their child wear Dora the Explorer shoes are just more evolved than me. Maybe one day I’ll get there.
Letting your kids dress themselves makes them stronger young people, and gives them a change to exercise their ability to make choices, and express themselves. Try to let them get dressed by themselves for a week and let me know how it goes!