Understanding why we yell is the first step to stop yelling at our kids. You may think it has more to do with the behaviors they display, but really it has to do, first, with you. As you probably know, there are many layers to why you yell. Let’s begin to uncover some of this together.
I think about being on an airplane and the flight attendant telling us that should we need oxygen, to put our mask on first before we help others. When I became a mom, I thought these people were crazy. I would never help myself before I help my kids. And then it hit me. If I don’t take care of myself before I take care of my kids, my kids will be in peril. They will not be ok.
Taking care of myself is not only a way I show kindness and love to myself but a way I show kindness and love to my kids. Because I will show up for my kids in a bigger and better way when I show up for myself first.
How does that look? Showing up for myself looks like eating and making sure I drink my water. It looks like going for walks, and waking up before they do. It looks like hot showers and hot coffee. It looks like hobbies and spending money on yourself. It looks like nights away at a hotel and long facetime calls with friends. It looks like therapy and walks around Target.
Taking care of ourselves is not the easiest thing to do sometimes. A book I read when I first became a parent called, “Bringing Up Bebe” and it reminded me that though I have a new role of mom, I also am a woman and a human first. I do my best to carve out space for myself in this busy world of parenting and it serves my children tremendously as well.
When we show up for ourselves, we can show up for our kids. We can show more patience and grace for our kids when we are full.
So, I challenge you. Find space for yourself. Make a plan for what that looks like for you, in your home. Find space for the bigness of who you are. Because you deserve it, and your kids do too.
I wrote an ebook to help parents stop yelling at their kids and bring more peace into their parenting. You can buy the ebook and workbook here, and know that the first chapter will give you more tools to look carefully at how you can fill yourself up. You’ve got this mama!
