You can make your coffee and drink it too

Dear Mama,

I give you permission to make your coffee and drink it too. I remember as a new mom, being told over and over again, to “drink my coffee hot now, because when the baby comes you will never have a cup of hot coffee again”. I was confused by that statement and moved along with my day. Then my first child came, and then my second. And I can confidently say that for the past three years I have been drinking my coffee hot almost every day.

What moms were warning me about was the overwhelming demands of parenthood. This, I can say, at least for me, is true. Parenthood pulls you in every direction and sometimes you are just trying your best to stay afloat. I agree with that sentiment. Yet, I (nearly) always drink my coffee hot.

When I was a brand new parent, I read<a src=”//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=sarahscott03-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0143122967&asins=0143122967&linkId=5f66edf76df97552d95eb44d4335be63&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff” href=” “> this<a src=”//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=sarahscott03-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0143122967&asins=0143122967&linkId=5f66edf76df97552d95eb44d4335be63&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff” href=” book, “Bringing Up Bebe”. It’s about French parenting. As sleep deprived as I was those first few weeks, I could not put the book down. I read it several times. I would read it while breastfeeding, or when she was sleeping. I ignored the advice to sleep when the baby was sleeping sometimes just to read this book. There were several parenting books I have felt this way about over the past three years. I will link my faves here for you. But this book gave me the confidence to make my coffee and drink it too. 

You see, when parents tell you they haven’t had a hot cup of coffee in years, they almost wear it like a badge of honor. In fact, I see these parenting quips as badges on a sash worn across your chest. There’s the “I reheated my coffee three times today” badge and the “ I never sleep anymore badge”. There’s the “I delivered naturally badge”, and the “breast is best badge”. Believe me, there are tons of these badges and moms wear them with honor. But this book, “Bringing Up Bebe” rebuked these ideas.

This book reminded me that, yes, I am becoming a mom, but I am first and foremost a person. I never really heard anyone say that. The whole time I was pregnant, people were preparing me for how rough this new life was going to be, without anyone reminding me that I was still a woman. A woman with needs and wants and a love for hot coffee. I was getting this beautiful new human in my life, but my world didn’t need to revolve around them. I was reminded that I am a person too. 

So, the baby cried, and I took a hot shower. The baby cried, and I finished my breakfast. The baby cried, and I kept breathing. The baby cried, and I drank my coffee hot. I am not suggesting that you should let your baby cries for hours and hours a day. That’s not cool. But, I am reminding you, in case nobody has told you today, that you are a person. And today, I give you permission to make your coffee and drink it too.